


In and Out

by Renezinha



Series: Relapse verse. [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Illustrated, Love and embrace the nimmy plz, M/M, Mild Smut, One Shot, Relapse verse, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 06:01:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4776296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Renezinha/pseuds/Renezinha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p></p><div class="center">
  <p><br/>This one shot makes part of the <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/3237257/chapters/7051667%20">Relapse</a> verse, written by my friend <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/MashuraDi">MashuraDi</a>.</p>
  <p>It's basically about Nick dealing with Jimmy's absence after he said Yes to Castiel and before Nick himself said Yes to Lucifer.</p>
  <p> <br/><b>[Now features art from my friend <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/users/MashuraDi">MashuraDi</a>. She drew it and i colored it. <3]</b><br/></p>
</div>
            </blockquote>





	In and Out

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MashuraDi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MashuraDi/gifts).



A bright white light. 

“I am not Jimmy Novak.”

 

Nick woke up all of sudden, sweating, scared...even though he does not even remember having fallen asleep in the first place. The room was dark because the curtains were still closed but he could see the first rays of light peering around them. The blond seemed confused as he blinked his eyes into focus, gazing around, trying to take notice of his surroundings. This wasn't...definitely his room...though it still seemed familiar to him somehow.

“Yeah..” He mumbled, bringing a hand up to rub at one eye as he sat up in bed, grimacing. “Really need to stop drinking.” Wasn't he in his room when he fell asleep? Whenever he fell asleep? Nick's memory was blurry and then he realized he wasn't alone in bed, there was someone lying next to him and when he looked at the guy, he realized he was awake and staring back at him with those bright blue eyes of his, smiling kinda funny.

“Jimmy?!”

“'Morning” The dark haired man yawned, stretching his arms a bit as he sat up in bed as well, leaning into the blond, resting his chin over his shoulder. “It's still early, why don't you go back to sleep?”

  
[ ](http://tinypic.com?ref=15yzpc5)  


“What...are you really here?” Was Nick dreaming? Last thing he remembers is seeing Jimmy walking away after that Angel possessed him. Was that the dream and was this reality? Nick was having a hard time separating the two.

“Yes..” Jimmy frowned, squinting his eyes in curiosity as he pushed himself off the blond. “Nick, are you all right?”

“Where are we?”

“Okay, now you're freaking me out...” Jim noticed his lover was acting a little strange and had no idea why. He was fine last night.

“Jimmy, where the hell are we?” The blond grabbed him by the shoulders, shaking him a little, like that would force a logical answer out of the brunet.

“Stop it!” Jimmy shoved him on the chest and stood from bed, wearing nothing but his pajama bottoms. “We're at the lake, remember? God..what...what's wrong with you?”

“The cabin...” Nick jumped off the bed and walked towards the window, pulling the curtains aside. There was a nice view of the lake. The streets striped off people since it wasn't even seven in the morning. The blond was confused, they were at the lake, again? When did that happen?

“Do you, uh..” Jimmy approached him, standing next to his lover. “Maybe we should go to the Hospital, Nick. Something's obviously wrong with you.”

“No.” Nick closed the curtains, letting the darkness take over the room, and turned to look at Jimmy. “I'm fine, i...i think i had a bad dream.”

“Are you sure? Never saw you acting that way, well...except for when you are drunk.” Jimmy teased, trying to lift the tension and the awkwardness that had settled between them.

“Yes.” Nick has no idea what's going on...but Jimmy's here with him. They're alone, at the cabin, and he isn't going to question whatever happened prior to all this, he decided he's gonna make the best of it. Live in the illusion or whatever that means. “We should go fishing.”

Jim smiled at Nick's suggestion and nodded, placing a hand on his shoulder. “We have to. I promised Claire i'd catch the biggest fish, remember? And i also remember betting i'd catch more fish than you.”

“You wish.” Nick laughed and slid his hands around Jim's waist, bringing him close for a kiss. “But you were right, it's still early...and a bit chilly.”

“You just want to get under the blankets with me, wise ass.” He smiled, giving him a peck.

“Don't i always?”

 

A few heated kisses and touches, and Jimmy ended up riding Nick through the mattress, the bed making weird noises as it moved along with them. Good thing the cabin next to theirs was empty, because Jimmy sure didn't hold back when Nick gripped him by the waist and thrust home, ripping a sudden and abrupt orgasm out of the man on top of him.

 

Around 10am, Nick woke up to the smell of something awful...it smelled like...vomit? Getting up from the floor as fast as he could, he noticed he had passed out next to a puddle of his own vomit. The room wasn't the same anymore and then he remembered. He had gotten drunk last night and returned home late. He remembers not making it to the bathroom in time and throwing up in the middle of the living room.

“No, please..no, no..” Panicking, he ran upstairs and entered the bathroom, throwing up whatever contents he still had inside his stomach. It was a dream...but why did it feel so real? Jimmy felt real. What if...what if that Angel nonsense had been a dream too and Jimmy was still around? Probably having breakfast with his family since he usually left for work around 11 in the morning?? He had to know even..if he already knew.

Nick washed his face and dragged himself to his room, sitting in bed as he reached for the phone on the bedside table. When Jimmy didn't answer his phone, he gave up and called his home instead, knowing at least Amelia or Claire would pick up the call.

“Yes?” It was Claire.

“I-it's me, sweetie, Nick, hmm...is your dad...”

“Daddy hasn't come home yet..” And Nick could tell the little girl was probably trying to hold her tears back. “I told mommy i don't think he ever will but she yells at me and tells me to shut up.”  
  
“He will come back, don't worry.” Biggest lie he ever told but he had to reassure the kid everything's going to be alright. Because that's what adults do, right? They lie to make you feel better.

 

Nick ended the call a minute later and flopped down in bed, staring at the ceiling. Jimmy was gone and he was nowhere near as close to accept it.

He didn't go to work that day and didn't even care about calling in and explain why. He just wanted to sleep and maybe find Jimmy in his dreams once again. Funny how he had stopped dreaming about Sarah a long time ago. He's not sure if he feels good or sad about it. Yeah, he needs to sleep. After making sure the room was dark enough, he returned to the bathroom and opened the little cabinet above the sink to retrieve a flask of pills. Sleeping pills. He wanted to fall asleep fast so he took three. When he lied down in bed again, he smiled and closed his eyes. Didn't take too long for the man to fall asleep.

 

When he woke up, the clock by the bedside table marked 3pm. A very grumpy Jimmy was staring at him by the end of the bed, arms crossed over his chest, a weird hat on his head. He even wore a vest with multiple pockets.

“Nick, come on! I want to go fishing. “ Jimmy grabbed a pillow and threw it at him.

“Jim..” Nick laughed once he realized where he was. “ What are you wearing?”

“What, this? Nothing, something i picked up from the sports store before we came here...why, what's so funny about it?” There's that cute frown again Nick has come to love so much.

“You look funny. “

Jimmy smiled and unfolded his arms, letting them drop to his sides. “ Well, i got you some stuff too.”

“Matching vests and hats?” Nick rose a brow as he got up from bed.

“Maybe...”

Nick smiled and shook his head. “ Do you even know how much i love you?”

That caught Jimmy off guard but his smile grew wider nonetheless.

“You're still wearing the vest.”

 

And he did wear the vest. And the hat. He'd do anything just to see him happy. Nick hated the fact he knew he was dreaming, he wished he didn't. He really wished he could actually live in the goddamn illusion, he wished he didn't have to wake up.

“Don't think too hard, Nick.” Jimmy teased as he replaced the bait in the hook. “I can see the smoke, bet everyone can see the smoke, what if someone calls the firemen?”

“Hilarious. You're the worst comedian ever, Jimbo.” The blond smiled, just gazing at the still waters, wondering why the hell the fish aren't biting. He's supposed to win the bet!

“I think i'm pretty funny. Anyway...what's bothering you, Nick? Don't tell me it's nothing because i can tell it's something.”

“Of course you can...you always do.” Nick didn't really want to tell him the truth, what would Jimmy say? Even if it's just a dream, why can't he have some peace? “Really, i'm fine. Just...guess i'm a little sad our weekend together ends tomorrow.”

“Oh.” Jimmy's smile faded. “ We, uh...we can always come back here, right? I'd like to come back.”

“Yeah, i guess we can.” Nick would. Everytime he fell asleep.

“So, don't think about it, just...catch some fish. Or don't, i'd like to win the bet.” Jimmy laughed and Nick laughed along even though he didn't feel like it, not really.

 

Next time he woke up, he felt numb all over, hungry, and extremely thirsty. His mouth was so dry it felt like cotton and he needed to get some water, fast. Getting up from bed was hard but he managed. Since he didn't want to go down the stairs in his current state, Nick entered the bathroom and turned the tap on, leaning to drink as much water as he could. Standing, he stared at his reflection in the mirror and frowned, turning his gaze away as a pang of hunger hit him, it actually hurt him. How long was he out??

When he finally made it downstairs and into the kitchen, he prepared himself a sandwich and ate it like he hadn't eaten in days.

The phone rang and he froze, even stopped chewing from a moment. It wasn't Jimmy, that much he knows, but...

Nick walked into the living room and picked up the phone, answering the call. Of course it wasn't Jimmy. It was a female voice. Amelia's.

“Nick? Oh God..you're okay. I've been trying to call you for two days now.”

Two days, huh? “Amelia? Yes, im..fine considering...nevermind, why are you calling?”

“I think i saw him.”

“Who?”

“Him. Jimmy! They were talking about a murder on tv and i saw him passing by the crowd with some guy...i'm sure it was him. I'm going after him.”

Amelia sounded serious about it but Nick knew it was useless. Still, knowing his lover is still walking around...hurts him. Even if it's not really him anymore...and, great, now his head hurts.

“That's not a good idea...what about Claire?”

“She will stay with my mother...” She pauses for a moment and then continues.”...i was wondering..since you were Jimmy's best friend, if you'd like to come with me.”

Nick wanted to laugh but he didn't. It would be rude of him.

“I'm really sorry, Amelia, i...i can't.” His last encounter with the Angel had been traumatizing enough, he didn't want to relive it all over again.

“I see, well...i'm still going. I'll bring him back.”

“Good luck then.”

“Take care, Nick.”

So he has been sleeping for two days in a row... no wonder he feels like shit. Not only physically but mentally, of course, he wished he could have slept longer and stayed at the lake with Jimmy. For good. Even if that meant his death.

 

Next time he dreamt of the lake, he was sitting in front of the fireplace, roasting marshmallows since the storm outside had ruined their plans of going out and make a bonfire. Jimmy had just finished washing the dishes when he walked into the living room and sat, cross legged, next to Nick.

“Still counts as a bonfire.”

“It does.” Nick pulled the poker out of the fire and checked the marshmallows. They seemed good to eat. “Open your mouth.” Nick asks as politely as possible.

“Are you going to feed me?” Jimmy laughs but opens his mouth anyway. Nick slips the marshmallow past his lips and leans to kiss him. “Uhm.” Jimmy's chewing but smiling. “I'll have to let you feed me more often.”

“Don't get used to it.” Nick grimaced at his choice of words. Right, don't get used to it.

“Soo...” Jimmy started after swallowing the marhsmallow.

“Sooo?”

“I won the bet.” He said happily as he met his lover's gaze.

“That you did, Mr Novak.” Nick said, throwing a couple marshmallows into his mouth.

“I have no idea what i'm doing, but...” Jim blushed, breaking eye contact. Nick found it adorable.

“You'll do just fine. I want it..” Leans to kiss his cheek, letting his lips linger against Jim's warm skin. “Want you.”

 

They never made it to the bedroom. The fireplace kept them warm enough as Jimmy spread Nick's leg and forced himself into him, the warmth and tightness nearly sending the young man over the edge.

 

This time, when Nick woke up, he felt he wasn't alone in his room. He heard strange noises, voices...yep, this is it, he's definitly going crazy. He tried to ignore everything, tried to forget what he just saw at the room he so thoroughly put together for his baby, tried to ignore the cold spots...but he couldn't ignore what came upon him next. The form of his late wife materialized in bed, next to him, and he was so taken aback, he didn't know what to do or say. The cabin, the lake...that's the dream world, right? Then what is this all about?

"Nick." Sarah, or best said, not-Sarah called out to him."You're dreaming Nick, but it doesn't mean this isn't real." 

He really...really wished it wasn't.


End file.
